August 22, 2012

Grandma Rememberance

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:15 am by ginalucca

I recently stumbled upon a quote that captures a lot of how I feel.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

We have lost someone so unbelieveably special and there will always be that sting knowing that she is no longer physically here with us. But she is still very much alive in the things that we do, the words we say, and the people we love. Grandma Joanie was a gem. One minute she is telling you to get away from the screens and stop pushing on them, and the next she is rolling her eyes laughing at a story she is telling.

Many of my favorite memories with Grandma are of sitting at the table, pouring her some more coffee, and listening to her tell every little detail about a story that she probably has already told you. She would get so excited and have you grinning from ear to ear just waiting for the punch line. And of course, there were at least 5 or 6 “whoas” thrown in there for good measure. I don’t think anyone can forget when Grandma lost her teeth at Bernard and Gina’s going away party. And in case you had, I think there is still footage of it floating around some place. I laugh thinking about calling Grandma for recipes. I’m someone that requires a step-by-step process and defined amounts for ingredients. She was a true baker though and never needed to really measure things. Terms of measurement to her were “a little bit”, “not much”, “just a tish”, and she never understood what I couldn’t grasp about this.

It is hard to imagine living a life where Grandma is not a phone call away. It breaks my heart knowing that she will not physically be here to see me get married, or to meet the children that I will someday have. But it is through those stories and those recipes that my children will get to know her and I know that she will always be watching over all of us; probably shaking her finger when we do something she doesn’t approve of like climbing up the laundry chute or lying about going to see a movie.

Grandma taught us all so many important lessons. She taught us how to be strong, to be independent and hard-working. She taught us how to raise a family, how to love, and that you always give up your seat at the table for an adult; even if you are one yourself. I think we all have so many amazing stories about Grandma and that is part of what makes this process a little easier. We remember her through those stories and we laugh and smile because it is a reminder that she is always here with us.

I am so incredibly thankful that I have someone like Grandma to look up to. She and Grandpa are the epitome of love and I know there is nothing that can compare to the love they shared. Always say “I love you” to those you hold dear in your heart. Too often we assume that the other person knows this already, but there is nothing in the world that I would trade to tell Grandma that I love her one more time. As we say goodbye for now we need to always remember that her love, her laughter, and her smile live on in all of us. She would want us to remember the good times and stop fussing over her and all of this.

With a heavy heart we will learn to live our lives again. People will still go out to Grandma and Grandpa’s, even if no one is home, and sit on the porch, watch tv, or raid the fridge and cupboards for food. So Grandpa, you better keep that place stocked. ☺

I end this with one other quote that my cousin Melanie recently posted. It is a quote by Emily Dickinson.

“Unable are the loved to die,
for love, is immortality.”

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