December 31, 2010

Free Therapy

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:36 am by ginalucca

Good morning, good night, good day?…..I don’t really know what to write as it is almost 2 a.m. and I am wide awake just thinking about life in general. My sleep cycle has been off the past couple weeks anyways so I’m not that surprised that I am just chilling watching “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Bravo (it’s super entertaining!), listening to iTunes, playing some Spider Solitaire and enjoying some wine. I am pretty sure that this post is going to be just rambling thoughts and things that I’ve come to learn and value. It may not be the funniest thing I’ve ever written, but I find that at least writing down the thoughts in my head help me make sense of things.

I have been going back and forth with a lot of things the last few months and actually the last couple years. I’d like to say that I’m the type of person that likes change, but I think that would just be a lie. I can make small decisions like getting new throw pillows, updating the decor in my bathroom, deciding if I want to change my hair, etc. You know…small things. But for some reason I have the hardest time making big decisions and I think years of second-guessing myself have just royally messed me up. I will go back and forth on something for days, weeks, even months at a time depending on how the outcome will affect me or possibly others. I will get tons of different opinions on things, whether or not I asked for them, and I find that those opinions usually just make me even more confused.

When I was struggling with the decision to leave my company this last summer it was something that I had been thinking about for about 2 years. I’m usually not that slow to make a decision, but I wanted to make sure that if I was leaving, I was going to leave for something that was really worth it. I had plenty of other job opportunities that I could have persued, but what would have been the point if I would just end up upset in the next 6 – 12 months? Some people have an easy time switching companies and starting some place new, but I for some reason struggle with it. That may be surprising for some people to read since I am so outgoing and seem to make friends anywhere I go. I’m also a very capable person so I don’t find it difficult to take on or learn new tasks and I usually thrive on it. As you know I ultimately decided to leave my company and go to another opportunity that I felt was better suited for me and would be a better fit for me in the long run. I questioned that decision almost every day after that up until a month or so ago. I know that this new position is more along the lines of what I need to be able to grow professionally, but at what cost? I still go to happy hours and other social gatherings with old co-workers and vendor reps., but I feel like it’s just not the same. I really miss that feeling of “family” and being around so many other young professionals. I think this is just another part of what most coin as “growing up”, but it still kind of stinks.

I really value the relationships that I have with people and I feel like once you’re “in” with me, you’re “in” for life. I follow the typical profile of a Taurus (if you follow astrology): stubborn, independent, loyal, nurturing, caregiver, etc. I will always stand up for someone that I love, but it may take me a while to really trust someone 100%. It’s not to say that I don’t trust people when I first meet them; I do. I just don’t always know if I will be able to form any sort of friendship/relationship beyond something artificial and that is completely fine. It’s a pretty safe bet that most of my 600+ Facebook friends aren’t people that I would divulge my most intimate thoughts or feelings to. I love to be optimistic and make people smile through my random comments or funny stories so most people would never really know if I’m upset or hurt. I am not one to put my emotions out for the world to read/interpret/decipher. I know that writing things can be very cathartic for people and I think that my blogs are a good option for me, but we all know that most of the things I write are just surface statements that anyone could read. It’s probably a good thing that I don’t write anything too in-depth about my life or else I’d probably have some people pissed at me. Eek!! Haha 🙂

I think it’s extremely important to have a good understanding of yourself, your needs, your wants, your goals, etc. A statement that I often think about is, “You can’t depend on anyone else for your happiness”. Now I know that this may sound like a “cold” statement at first glance, but it’s not. I feel that this statement represents a true happiness with who you are and that you need to love and be happy with yourself before you can ever allow someone else to be a part of that. I see too many people get in to relationships where one is heavily dependent on the other for their sole source of happiness and it’s just hard because they are setting themself and their partner up for failure. I have no problem stroking a guy’s ego, but I can’t do it every day to make sure he knows how great I think he is. It’s the same way with me though. I can’t expect some guy to tell me how great they think I am or how pretty I may look to make me happy with myself and life in general. Of course hearing compliments and receiving random acts of kindness will make you happy, and why shouldn’t they? But if you always depend on someone else to make you happy you are doing yourself a major disservice. I recently had a guy tell me that he had taken about a year or so after filing for divorce to really find himself, simplify his life, and get back to the basics of what is important. I was so overjoyed to hear this because too many people just rush from relationship to relationship looking for that “temporary high” and once it goes away and that “honeymoon phase” dissolves, you are back to that same spot of unhappiness. So love yourself and be thankful for what you have and for what you don’t.

Today I was over visiting Jess, Greg, and the kids and it just reminds me how much I love my family. I find the most simple things amusing; like Lola crying about her feet being hot in Chipotle. It was so cute watching her cry and get upset. The last few weeks have been a little bit of a roller coaster for me. I feel so bad for Jess. She is probably the busiest person I know and she is always there to listen to me about my problems, help me rationalize them, and come to a decision. Most of the time I already know what I should do, but there is comfort in knowing that I’m not crazy and that someone else thinks that what I’m doing is what is best; even if it doesn’t feel that great. She also encourages me to go to the gym and just run off my problems on the treadmill. I hate going sometimes, but I know she is right and that my head will be more clear once I am done. I highly encourage people to find something that is a good release for them. For some people this “release” may come in the form of having a drink, doing yoga, reading a book, playing mindless computer games, etc. Whatever it is that you choose to do, you need to find something. People pile too much up on their plate and then just get super stressed out. Stress = Negative Energy….If you’re a negative person no one will want to be around you…and that’s no good!! 😦

 I recently started going to confession again mostly because I felt guilty since the priests were drilling it during their homily at mass, but I actually find it very refreshing to go now. If nothing else, it feels like a free therapy session. I don’t unload all my problems, but it’s nice to give Jess a break and get some feedback and a different take on what I am thinking about my life. The best piece of advice that I have received thus far is after I said that sometimes I get upset with people that hurt me and that it’s hard for me to forgive them. The priest simply said that “Self-pity is not a virtue.” I actually started to laugh when he said this because it is so true!! I think that everyone has a certain amount of time to feel sad about things in their life, but throwing yourself a pity party time and time again is just draining on you and everyone else around you. It’s all about the “law of attraction”. If you have positive energy, you will attract positive things and positive people to your life.

I always try to re-read my blogs before I post them for grammatical or spelling errors. Nothing drives me crazier than someone using the wrong form of “to vs. too” or misspelling a word like “congradulations”. Don’t even get me started on the poor education system that we must have in the U.S. for people to misspell “congratulations”. Ugh…I seriously roll my eyes and shake my head. After re-reading this blog in its entirety I laugh because I have finally come up with a title: free therapy. A friend recently told me that I should really do an advice column in my blog because I am always pretty straight forward and hit the point head-on. I would like to think of this blog as free therapy for me and for those of you that may be going through similar things in your life. The last thing that I want to reiterate is something that I have said in the past. You are always going to question decisions that you have made in your life, but this doesn’t mean that you didn’t make the right one. Life is all about chances, risks, and decisions. We learn, we grow, and we hopefully become better people from it all.

Now….so this whole things doesn’t sound so damn serious, I have added some stuff at the bottom for you to enjoy. Here’s to hoping you all have a safe and fun NYE, know that you are loved, and remember that you have so much to be thankful for!!

– This website has almost as funny of pics as — Check it out!

– Pajama jeans are ridiculous. If you haven’t seen them, I strongly urge you to not fall trap to their amazing sales pitch!! I also find jeggings to be in the same category. I don’t care what anyone says.

– I don’t see the attraction of John Mayer. I love his songs, but I just don’t know why so many women in Hollywood swoon over him. Maybe he just has a really intoxicating energy about him. But I just don’t get it.

– Try to live by the “Golden Rule”.

– Don’t kiss some random stranger at midnight on NYE just because you want to kiss someone. You may be sorry the next morning when you wake up with a huge cold sore. I’m just saying….

– Just because you talk louder than someone it doesn’t mean that you’re right. It usually just means that you have never heard someone say “Use your inside voice.”

– Boy at the Reston Town Center icerink, you did not look cool last night attempting to skate laps around everyone else while wearing just a black t-shirt, some disshelved looking hair, and black gloves. However, Maureen and I did find you quite amusing. So thanks. 🙂

– I am still convinced that I’m destined to be on “The Amazing Race”. I seriously need to look at when they start casting again.

– I am so ready to take a vacation!! Too bad my “vacation” is to somewhere colder. But it’s all good because I will get to see a lot of my besties!! January 12th baby!!!

– Never make someone a priority that only makes you an option.

– If you are ever sad, just hold a baby. They have a way of making you feel soooo much better. Disclaimer: Make sure that the baby belongs to someone you know or else it may turn in to a pretty bad situation.

– If you haven’t already seen “Year One” you need to!!!! Seriously one of the funniest movies that I have EVER seen!!! I promse if you don’t find it funny I will pay you back for your rental. Satisfaction guaranteed. Haha!!

– If you are one of those people that vows to hit the gym more once the new year starts, please be respectful of those people that actually go on a regular basis. Nothing is more annoying than finding your gym suddenly packed at 6 a.m. when you were the only person in it for almost 11 months of the year. All I ask is that for the love of all that is good in this world, please don’t take the good treadmills if you are just going to walk!!

– Just because it’s a trend, it doesn’t mean that you look good doing it. Case in point, skinny jeans. They say “skinny” in them for a reason. That may sound like a bitch statement, but I’m not a hypocrite. You don’t see me throwing my curves around in a pair of those. Know your body people and dress it accordingly.

Below is a funny headline that I found online that made me laugh and kind of made me hungry for a Snickers. I hope you enjoy it too!!

Here are some tattoos that went very wrong.

 — Hopefully God doesn’t judge you on spelling tests or else you are screwed.

 — This guy has it right. Apparently the “systsem” never taught him how to spell or check his work.

 — That’s right! You’re so awesome you don’t even need the “E”.

 — I don’t know if this girl should be advertising her urinal problems to the world via  a tramp stamp. She may want to go to the doctor and make sure she doesn’t have a UTI or yeast infection. Just saying….

 — I wonder if she ever made it on contestants row? Either way, I’m just glad that this statement wasn’t tattooed some other place on her body. Yuck.

 — What kind of a centaur is that exactly? Is that supposed to be Patrick Swayze? I can’t really tell.

 — Epic Fail.


1 Comment »

  1. Rachel said,

    I love your insights Gina! New Year’s Resolution for me–be more positive!

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